Views of an Indian couple in USA,
(Article received through whatsapp is shared)
Do Indians living in America want to go back to India?
I can’t say for all Indians living in USA, however I can speak for my husband and myself. Both of us want to go back to India. This is a take from my personal experience. We both had come for Masters in USA to gain in depth knowledge in Computer Science. Computer Science evolved in USA and is at its peak here.
However, life is not just related to your working profession. The madness for excellence in a field goes down when one sees the realities of life. As a student who takes heavy loans life is not luxurious and its at that time one sees what its like to live in poverty. Poverty might seem an extreme word, but when you are spending huge amount of money its affects your entire family. When its payback time after getting a job, it takes 4–5 years to financially settle and build on savings. Moreover the work here is contract on will, where you can be terminated at anytime. Your life is heavily dependent on money in USA. If you don't make it to VP level, you may be retired in your 50 s . Getting a job thereafter may be difficult ,as mid aged people aren't welcome. Moreover there is no domestic help here and sharing domestic chores with family can be killing.Raising children from birth to 7years is impossible without mother quitting her job or parents coming over from India full time.
As far as going back is concerned, I would like to highlight its effect on the family life. In our family, our grandfathers and great grandfathers built a house big enough for their next generations. They had laid foundation of basic security for his next generations, where their children don’t have to struggle to build house, and their parents can rest in the same house. Their children can study and work on things which would make lives of their next generation better. This is a sustainable cycle for generations, and everyone is taken care off - elderly, middle aged and children.
Now when we go to USA and start a new life, we buy a house which would be extremely expensive and is a commitment for 15–20 years. Our parents can’t move to USA so they are left for themselves in old age (leaving the extended family/home, visa restrictions, expensive healthcare and no one to take care for them).
Our children wouldn’t be connected to their family (as we can afford to go to India only once in 1–2 years). An upbringing without family ties would make them individualistic and they would accept that they have to do everything for themselves with no one to trust/take care (Not even their parents). Most likely they would move out of the house and settle somewhere else and end up in same cycle as us. Moreover, the upbringing of our children would be affected because we would not be able to spend time with them as we would be busy earning money for their education, college, and they would be left with some stranger throughout their childhood.
This process is neither helping our parents, nor our children and us. I have broken up the three generations of my family and have started an unsustainable cycle of life where it affects all 3 generations of my family. No amount of money can restore this, be it USD or INR. This is a collective loss of our society today, where parents are staying in old age homes, children in day care and we in office. We realized that its our time to return to preserve our generations and family.
