CORPORATE JOKE

Agency: " Sir, we found 3 candidates as per your requirements. How do you want their  placements, sir?"

MD: "Put about 100 bricks in a closed room. Then send the candidates into the room and close the door, leave them alone and come back after a few hours and analyses the situation:

1. If they are counting the bricks, put them in Accounts department.

2. If they are recounting the bricks, put them in Auditing.

3. If they messed up the whole room with the bricks, put them in Engineering.

4. If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, put them in Planning.

5. If they are throwing the bricks at each other, put them in Operations.

6. If they are sleeping, put them in Security.

7. If they broke the bricks into pieces, put them in Information Technology.

8. If they are sitting idle, put them in Human Resources.

9. If they say they have tried different combinations yet not a single brick has been moved, put them in Sales.

10. If they have already left for the day, Put them in Marketing.

11. If they are staring out of the window, put them in Strategic Planning.

And...

12. If they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been touched, Congratulate them and put them in Top Management.

Ramasamy Vs Madasamy

Ramasamy completed B.tech and joined a MNC during Campus Recruitment. CTC 4 lakhs. His Relatives & Family friends wished him success. Ramasamy's face glowed like Petramax light. He thought to himself " From today onwards every day will be happy."

Madasamy, Ramasamy's neighbor failed BA. All his relatives & family friends blamed him. In Hyderabad every one is a B.tech but Madasamy was not even BA! Madasamy received suggestions to eke out a living by selling Idly, Dosa…. Pan ...or sell Milk… His Father was much embarrassed.

Now what to do…?

Madasamy asked his mother ₹ 2 lakhs and borrowed ₹2 lakhs from an uncle, bought buffaloes and started Milk Business.

Ramasamy used his credit card to purchase a motorcycle , commuting each day to office. 

Madasamy on TVS with Milk Cans also started to sell.

Ramasamy proudly said ‘Hi" to Madasamy. 

Madasamy with embarrassed look muttered Hi . & each attended to their respective duties.

6 months passed .....

Ramasamy re-paid 20% of the motorcycle purchase money. He still had to repay ₹80K.

Madasamy cleared ₹1 lakh out of his ₹2lakh borrowed money. 

When Both met Ramasamy gave a small smile ,thinking of his debt of 80K. Madasamy also smiled reminiscing about his remaining loan of ₹ 1 lakh

1 year passed by....

Ramasamy had high hopes on a salary hike. Suddenly due to recession company mailer informed all employees of no hike. 

Half liter of milk increased in price to ₹14/-from ₹10/-.This profited Madasamy by 30% and helped him pay the remaining₹ 1 lakh loan amount.

By now, with difficulty Ramasamy cleared his Bike loan and took a personal loan of ₹2 lakhs @ 16% interest. Ramasamy bought furniture, LCD, Laptop with loan money. Every One applauded Ramasamy as he had purchased these accessories in just 2 years time. 

Now Madasamy with his business profits bought 12 more buffaloes. His income doubled.

Again both met. Ramasamy gave feeble smile thinking about his Personal loan. Madasamy gave a big smile since he was debt free.

After 2 more Years Ramasamy got a 10% salary hike. He then bought a Maruti Wagon R car through a Car Loan. 

Mean time Madasamy bought 2 acres land for his 3 dozen buffaloes. Milk Prices increased by 30% again. Now Madasamy was earning 200% more than Ramasamy. Madasamy owned one Auto to sell Milk.

Once more both faced met. With Loans and accruing Interest Ramasamy was unable to smile. But, Madasamy smiled merrily driving his own Auto.

2 more years passed...

Ramasamy applied for ₹40 lakhs home loan and bought an apartment. 

Madasamy's buffaloes numbered 126. Madasamy bought 2 apartments. 

Ramasamy got 10 more percent salary hike. 

Milk price crossed ₹ 40per liter now. Total income of Madasamy was 500 times that of Ramasamy.

Madasamy owned 1 Skoda and 1 Innova Car. Both met again..

Ramasamy grimaced struggling to clear ₹40 lakh loan.

Madasamy smiled ear to ear since he owned a medium sized Milk Factory with more than 170 buffaloes and 25 workers.

That night Ramasamy was in deep frustration. Because after 5 years Madasamy owned ₹4 crores , had a monthly income of 5 lakhs & provided jobs to 25 workers. Ramasamy's salary is 7 lakhs p a with ₹40 lakhs debt & unbearable job dissatisfaction This was the Balance Sheet.

Facts: In 2008 Milk was ₹10/- litre. Now ₹40/- litre. Gold ₹12500/- 10 grams, Now ₹30000/-. In the last 5 years salary hikes for software professionals was just 30%. All commodity prices increased by 300%. Still most Indian parents think engineering is the only worthwhile profession for their wards.

Worth reading...

Business is always best then Service.

Must be in Top Management

A woman in hot air balloon realized she is lost...

She reduced altitude & shouted to a man below

"Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend to meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am."

Man below replied "You are in hot air balloon 30 feet above the ground. You are at 41 degree North latitude & 59 degree West longitude."

Lady : "You must be an engineer."

Man : "How do you know?"

Lady : "Everything you told me is technically correct but useless & the fact is I'm still lost."

Engineer : "You must be in Top Management."

Lady : "Ya. How do you know?"

Engineer : "You don't know where you are or where you're going, you have no technical knowledge. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep & you expect people beneath you to solve your problems..!!"