What I learn in Corporate Life?

What I learn in Corporate Life?

1. I learnt to operate 3 critical machines.

    * Scanner

    * Printer

    * Xerox Machine

2. I learnt to use 3 High End Software:

    * Microsoft Word

    * Microsoft Excel

    * Microsoft PowerPoint

3. I learnt to use 3 great short cuts: -

    * Ctrl+C

    * Ctrl+V

    * Ctrl+S

4. I learnt to say three very important words for professional life: -

    * Yes sir

    * Ok sir.

    * I'll Just Do That sir

5. When I really wanted to quit, I learnt to: -

    * Wake Up early

    * Sleep late

    * Continue to Work

6. I learnt to: -

    * Face Monday

    * Fight For next 5 Days

    * Wait For Sunday

7. I learnt to give reasons to family, friends and relatives for not making

    * Phone Calls

    * Messages

    * Mails

8. I learnt to celebrate these things far away from loved ones: -

    * Birthday

    * New Year

    * Festivals

9. At the end, People say: -

    * You Learnt...

    * You Earned...

    * You Enjoyed...

10. But when I compare me with my self...

    * I just Sustained...

    * I just Tolerated...

    * I just Survived... (all for money)

11. I have survived: -

    * For convenience of my Family...

    * To avoid blame of Society...

    * To get tag of Employment...

Dedicated to all the corporate employees.

Reunion

In response to the invitation for a rather unusual REUNION of all-time greats:

Newton said he'd drop in.

Socrates said he'd think about it.

Ohm resisted the idea.

Boyle said he was under too much pressure.

Darwin said he'd wait to see what evolved.

Pierre and Marie Curie radiated enthusiasm.

Volta was electrified at the prospect.

Pavlov positively drooled at the thought.

Ampere was worried he wasn't current enough though alternately none were.

Edison thought it would be illuminating.

Einstein said it would be relatively easy to attend.

Archimedes was buoyant at the thought.

Morse said, "I'll be there on the dot. Can't stop now, must dash."

Hertz said he planned to attend with greater frequency in the future.

Wilbur Wright accepted, provided he and Orville could get a flight.

Aryabhata said there were zero chances of him showing up.

Marconi said, he would listen to the report on wireless.

Pythagoras refused because he thought that the organisers were not looking at the reunion through the right angle.

Just for fun, Received on WhatsApp 

CORPORATE JOKE

Agency: " Sir, we found 3 candidates as per your requirements. How do you want their  placements, sir?"

MD: "Put about 100 bricks in a closed room. Then send the candidates into the room and close the door, leave them alone and come back after a few hours and analyses the situation:

1. If they are counting the bricks, put them in Accounts department.

2. If they are recounting the bricks, put them in Auditing.

3. If they messed up the whole room with the bricks, put them in Engineering.

4. If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, put them in Planning.

5. If they are throwing the bricks at each other, put them in Operations.

6. If they are sleeping, put them in Security.

7. If they broke the bricks into pieces, put them in Information Technology.

8. If they are sitting idle, put them in Human Resources.

9. If they say they have tried different combinations yet not a single brick has been moved, put them in Sales.

10. If they have already left for the day, Put them in Marketing.

11. If they are staring out of the window, put them in Strategic Planning.

And...

12. If they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been touched, Congratulate them and put them in Top Management.