What I learn in Corporate Life?

What I learn in Corporate Life?

1. I learnt to operate 3 critical machines.

    * Scanner

    * Printer

    * Xerox Machine

2. I learnt to use 3 High End Software:

    * Microsoft Word

    * Microsoft Excel

    * Microsoft PowerPoint

3. I learnt to use 3 great short cuts: -

    * Ctrl+C

    * Ctrl+V

    * Ctrl+S

4. I learnt to say three very important words for professional life: -

    * Yes sir

    * Ok sir.

    * I'll Just Do That sir

5. When I really wanted to quit, I learnt to: -

    * Wake Up early

    * Sleep late

    * Continue to Work

6. I learnt to: -

    * Face Monday

    * Fight For next 5 Days

    * Wait For Sunday

7. I learnt to give reasons to family, friends and relatives for not making

    * Phone Calls

    * Messages

    * Mails

8. I learnt to celebrate these things far away from loved ones: -

    * Birthday

    * New Year

    * Festivals

9. At the end, People say: -

    * You Learnt...

    * You Earned...

    * You Enjoyed...

10. But when I compare me with my self...

    * I just Sustained...

    * I just Tolerated...

    * I just Survived... (all for money)

11. I have survived: -

    * For convenience of my Family...

    * To avoid blame of Society...

    * To get tag of Employment...

Dedicated to all the corporate employees.

Reunion

In response to the invitation for a rather unusual REUNION of all-time greats:

Newton said he'd drop in.

Socrates said he'd think about it.

Ohm resisted the idea.

Boyle said he was under too much pressure.

Darwin said he'd wait to see what evolved.

Pierre and Marie Curie radiated enthusiasm.

Volta was electrified at the prospect.

Pavlov positively drooled at the thought.

Ampere was worried he wasn't current enough though alternately none were.

Edison thought it would be illuminating.

Einstein said it would be relatively easy to attend.

Archimedes was buoyant at the thought.

Morse said, "I'll be there on the dot. Can't stop now, must dash."

Hertz said he planned to attend with greater frequency in the future.

Wilbur Wright accepted, provided he and Orville could get a flight.

Aryabhata said there were zero chances of him showing up.

Marconi said, he would listen to the report on wireless.

Pythagoras refused because he thought that the organisers were not looking at the reunion through the right angle.

Just for fun, Received on WhatsApp 

CORPORATE JOKE

Agency: " Sir, we found 3 candidates as per your requirements. How do you want their  placements, sir?"

MD: "Put about 100 bricks in a closed room. Then send the candidates into the room and close the door, leave them alone and come back after a few hours and analyses the situation:

1. If they are counting the bricks, put them in Accounts department.

2. If they are recounting the bricks, put them in Auditing.

3. If they messed up the whole room with the bricks, put them in Engineering.

4. If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, put them in Planning.

5. If they are throwing the bricks at each other, put them in Operations.

6. If they are sleeping, put them in Security.

7. If they broke the bricks into pieces, put them in Information Technology.

8. If they are sitting idle, put them in Human Resources.

9. If they say they have tried different combinations yet not a single brick has been moved, put them in Sales.

10. If they have already left for the day, Put them in Marketing.

11. If they are staring out of the window, put them in Strategic Planning.

And...

12. If they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been touched, Congratulate them and put them in Top Management.

Ramasamy Vs Madasamy

Ramasamy completed B.tech and joined a MNC during Campus Recruitment. CTC 4 lakhs. His Relatives & Family friends wished him success. Ramasamy's face glowed like Petramax light. He thought to himself " From today onwards every day will be happy."

Madasamy, Ramasamy's neighbor failed BA. All his relatives & family friends blamed him. In Hyderabad every one is a B.tech but Madasamy was not even BA! Madasamy received suggestions to eke out a living by selling Idly, Dosa…. Pan ...or sell Milk… His Father was much embarrassed.

Now what to do…?

Madasamy asked his mother ₹ 2 lakhs and borrowed ₹2 lakhs from an uncle, bought buffaloes and started Milk Business.

Ramasamy used his credit card to purchase a motorcycle , commuting each day to office. 

Madasamy on TVS with Milk Cans also started to sell.

Ramasamy proudly said ‘Hi" to Madasamy. 

Madasamy with embarrassed look muttered Hi . & each attended to their respective duties.

6 months passed .....

Ramasamy re-paid 20% of the motorcycle purchase money. He still had to repay ₹80K.

Madasamy cleared ₹1 lakh out of his ₹2lakh borrowed money. 

When Both met Ramasamy gave a small smile ,thinking of his debt of 80K. Madasamy also smiled reminiscing about his remaining loan of ₹ 1 lakh

1 year passed by....

Ramasamy had high hopes on a salary hike. Suddenly due to recession company mailer informed all employees of no hike. 

Half liter of milk increased in price to ₹14/-from ₹10/-.This profited Madasamy by 30% and helped him pay the remaining₹ 1 lakh loan amount.

By now, with difficulty Ramasamy cleared his Bike loan and took a personal loan of ₹2 lakhs @ 16% interest. Ramasamy bought furniture, LCD, Laptop with loan money. Every One applauded Ramasamy as he had purchased these accessories in just 2 years time. 

Now Madasamy with his business profits bought 12 more buffaloes. His income doubled.

Again both met. Ramasamy gave feeble smile thinking about his Personal loan. Madasamy gave a big smile since he was debt free.

After 2 more Years Ramasamy got a 10% salary hike. He then bought a Maruti Wagon R car through a Car Loan. 

Mean time Madasamy bought 2 acres land for his 3 dozen buffaloes. Milk Prices increased by 30% again. Now Madasamy was earning 200% more than Ramasamy. Madasamy owned one Auto to sell Milk.

Once more both faced met. With Loans and accruing Interest Ramasamy was unable to smile. But, Madasamy smiled merrily driving his own Auto.

2 more years passed...

Ramasamy applied for ₹40 lakhs home loan and bought an apartment. 

Madasamy's buffaloes numbered 126. Madasamy bought 2 apartments. 

Ramasamy got 10 more percent salary hike. 

Milk price crossed ₹ 40per liter now. Total income of Madasamy was 500 times that of Ramasamy.

Madasamy owned 1 Skoda and 1 Innova Car. Both met again..

Ramasamy grimaced struggling to clear ₹40 lakh loan.

Madasamy smiled ear to ear since he owned a medium sized Milk Factory with more than 170 buffaloes and 25 workers.

That night Ramasamy was in deep frustration. Because after 5 years Madasamy owned ₹4 crores , had a monthly income of 5 lakhs & provided jobs to 25 workers. Ramasamy's salary is 7 lakhs p a with ₹40 lakhs debt & unbearable job dissatisfaction This was the Balance Sheet.

Facts: In 2008 Milk was ₹10/- litre. Now ₹40/- litre. Gold ₹12500/- 10 grams, Now ₹30000/-. In the last 5 years salary hikes for software professionals was just 30%. All commodity prices increased by 300%. Still most Indian parents think engineering is the only worthwhile profession for their wards.

Worth reading...

Business is always best then Service.

Must be in Top Management

A woman in hot air balloon realized she is lost...

She reduced altitude & shouted to a man below

"Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend to meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am."

Man below replied "You are in hot air balloon 30 feet above the ground. You are at 41 degree North latitude & 59 degree West longitude."

Lady : "You must be an engineer."

Man : "How do you know?"

Lady : "Everything you told me is technically correct but useless & the fact is I'm still lost."

Engineer : "You must be in Top Management."

Lady : "Ya. How do you know?"

Engineer : "You don't know where you are or where you're going, you have no technical knowledge. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep & you expect people beneath you to solve your problems..!!"

Save Water

Chennai is marching towards a very serious water crisis, followed by Bangalore. So we should start saving the water we have and use the water we have, economically. Here are a few ideas on how to conserve water..

1. Almost all of us have reverse osmosis (RO) system installed at home for water for drinking and cooking. I am sure everyone know that it let's out almost one liter water to produce one liter drinking water. So keep a bucket to the outlet and store this water. This can very well be used for cleaning the floor, for toilet etc. What they normally say is, the bacteria which is there in this water will die in half an hour time when get exposed to normal air.

2. Similarly a bucket can be placed in the AC outlet. Everyday morning this water can be used for the plants in your flat, to clean your cars or even be drained into the rainwater harvesting system so that the ground water can get charged. In fact these outlets can be connected on a regular basis to get drained there.

3. Stop using running water for cleaning utensils and use water from bucket. By this practice lot of water can be saved.

4. Similarly use shower for bathing. This also would reduces water consumption.

5. Use your washing machine when you have a full load because washing machines are designed in such a way that it uses almost the same amount of water for washing low load to very high load.

6. If your washing machine's outlet is not connected to the closed drain. That is if the machine's outlet is let out in the bathroom, then the soap water which comes out of the machine can very well be used to soak your utensils which you have used for cooking.

7. Some of us face a problem with dust in the water. For example the bore well water may turn slightly muddy when the water bed goes down or because of the accumulated dirt in the overhead tent, the water may come with dust. Please don't waste this waters. Keep a block of Alam (padigaram in Tamil) in the bathroom. Just dip this in the bucket that has the muddy water and allow it to dissolve by rotating your hand. A few rotations will do. After about 10-15 minutes you will see the dust and muddy substances settled in the bottom and crystal clear water in the top ! This Alam would be available in all Naatu marundhu shops.

These are some of the ideas.

If you come across any good ideas to save water please do share. Let us all use social media for good and better purposes - (Please do share this with your other friends and groups and create awareness. Little drops of water make the mighty ocean).

Water saved is water produced.

Happy Tamil New Year

 Wish You a Happy Tamil New Year

This is an interesting piece of information indeed about the regions which celebrate their traditional New Year at this time of the Year. Especially the geographical link among the different regions in the map is interesting.

Not only In India, where Vaisakhi (Punjab), Poyla Boishakh (Bengal), Tamil Puthandu, Rongali Bihu (Assam), Bishu (Odisha), Vishu (Kerala), Jud Sheetal (Bihar) are all celebrated as New Year based on the Solar Calendar, but other regions in South and Southeast Asia, like Bangladesh, Nepal, Sri Lanka, Myanmar, Laos, Cambodia and Thailand too observe their New Year, this time.  

This provides very interesting historical evidence of the traces of the rule of Raja Raja Chola I, the emperor of the Chola Dynasty between 985 and 1014 CE.

Proverbs Vs Proverbs

All good things come to those who wait.

But

Time and tide wait for none.

The pen is mightier than the sword.

But

Actions speak louder than words.

Wise men think alike.

But

Fools seldom differ.

The best things in life are free.

But

There's no such thing as a free lunch.

Slow and steady wins the race.

But

Time waits for none.

Look before you leap.

But

Strike while the iron is hot.

Do it well, or not at all.

But

Half a loaf is better than none.

Birds of a feather flock together.

But

Opposites attract.

Don't cross your bridges before you come to them.

But

Forewarned is forearmed.

Doubt is the beginning of wisdom.

But

Faith will move mountains.

Great starts make great finishes.

But

It isn't over till it's over.

Practice makes perfect.

But

All work and no play make jack a dull boy.

Silence is golden.

But

The squeaky wheel gets the grease.

You're never too old to learn.

But

You can't teach an old dog new tricks.

What's good for the goose is good for the gander.

But

One man's meat is another man's poison.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

But

Out of sight, out of mind.

Too many cooks spoil the broth

But

Many hands make light work.

Hold fast to the words of your ancestors.

But

Wise men make proverbs and fools repeat them.

Abbrevations

Education 
B.A. — Bachelor of  Arts
M.A. — Master  of  Arts
B.Sc. — Bachelor of Science
M.Sc. —  Master of  Science
B.Sc. Ag. — Bachelor of Science in Agriculture
M. Sc. Ag. — Master of Science in Agriculture
M. B. B. S. — Bachelor of Medicine and Bachelor of Surgery
M. D. — Doctor of Medicine
M. S. — Master of Surgery
Ph. D. / D. Phil. — Doctor of Philosophy (Arts & Science)
D. Litt./Lit. — Doctor of Literature / Doctor of Letters
D. Sc. — Doctor of Science
B. Com. — Bachelor of Commerce
M. Com. — Master of Commerce
Dr. — Doctor
B. P. — Blood Pressure
Mr. — Mister
Mrs. — Mistress
M.S. — miss (used for female married & unmarried)
Miss — used before unmarried girls)
C/o — Care of
S/o — Son of

M. P. — Member of Parliament
M. L. A. — Member of Legislative Assembly
M. L. C. — Member of Legislative Council
P. M. — Prime Minister
C. M. — Chief Minister
C-in-C — Commander-In-Chief
L. D. C. — Lower Division Clerk
U. D. C. — Upper Division Clerk
Lt. Gov. — Lieutenant Governor
D. M. — District Magistrate
V. I. P. — Very Important Person
I. T. O. — Income Tax Officer
C. I. D. — Criminal Investigation Department
C. B. I. — Central Bureau of Investigation
G. P. O. — General Post Office
H. Q. — Head Quarters
E. O. E. — Errors and Omissions Excepted
Kg. — Kilogram
Kw. — Kilowatts
👉Gm. — Gram
👉Km. — Kilometer
👉Ltd. — Limited
👉M. P. H. — Miles Per Hour
👉KM. P. H. — Kilometre Per Hour
👉P. T. O. — Please Turn Over
👉P. W. D. — Public Works Department
👉C. P. W. D. — Central Public Works Department
👉U. S. A. — United States of America
👉U. K. — United Kingdom (England)
👉U. P. — Uttar Pradesh
👉M. P. — Madhya Pradesh
👉H. P. — Himachal Pradesh
👉U. N. O. — United Nations Organization
👉W. H. O. — World Health Organization
👉B. B. C. — British Broadcasting Corporation
👉B. C. — Before Christ
👉A. C. — Air Conditioned
👉I. G. — Inspector General (of Police)
👉D. I. G. — Deputy Inspector General (of Police)
👉S. S. P. — Senior Superintendent of Police
👉D. S. P. — Deputy Superintendent of Police
👉S. D. M. — Sub-Divisional Magistrate
👉S. M. — Station Master
👉A. S. M. — Assistant Station Master
👉V. C. — Vice-Chancellor
👉A. G. — Accountant General
👉C. R. — Confidential Report
👉I. A. S. — Indian Administrative Service
👉I. P. S. — Indian Police Service
👉I. F. S. — Indian Foreign Service or Indian
Forest Service
I. R. S. — Indian Revenue Service
👉P. C. S. — Provincial Civil Service
👉M. E. S. — Military Engineering Service
Full Form of Some Technical Words
VIRUS - Vital Information Resource Under Seized.
3G -3rd Generation.
GSM - Global System for Mobile Communication.
CDMA - Code Division Multiple Access.
UMTS - Universal Mobile Telecommunication System.
SIM - Subscriber Identity Module.
AVI = Audio Video Interleave
RTS = Real Time Streaming
SIS = Symbian OS Installer File
AMR = Adaptive Multi-Rate Codec
JAD = Java Application Descriptor
JAR = Java Archive
JAD = Java Application Descriptor
3GPP = 3rd Generation Partnership Project
3GP = 3rd Generation Project
MP3 = MPEG player lll
MP4 = MPEG-4 video file
AAC = Advanced Audio Coding
GIF= Graphic Interchangeable Format
JPEG = Joint Photographic Expert Group
JPEG = Joint Photographic Expert Group
BMP = Bitmap
SWF = Shock Wave Flash
WMV = Windows Media Video
WMA = Windows Media Audio
WAV = Waveform Audio
PNG = Portable Network Graphics
DOC =Document (Microsoft Corporation)
PDF = Portable Document Format
M3G = Mobile 3D Graphics
M4A = MPEG-4 Audio File
NTH = Nokia Theme (series 40)
THM = Themes (Sony Ericsson)
MMF =Synthetic Music Mobile Application File
NRT = Nokia Ringtone
XMF = Extensible Music File
WBMP = Wireless Bitmap Image
DVX = DivX Video
HTML = Hyper Text Markup Language
WML = Wireless Markup Language
CD -Compact Disk.
☀ DVD - Digital Versatile Disk.
☀ CRT - Cathode Ray Tube.
☀ DAT - Digital Audio Tape.
☀ DOS - Disk Operating System.
☀ GUI -Graphical
User Interface.
☀ HTTP - Hyper Text Transfer Protocol.
☀ IP - Internet Protocol.
☀ ISP - Internet Service Provider.
☀ TCP - Transmission Control Protocol.
☀ UPS - Uninterruptible Power Supply.
☀ HSDPA -High Speed Downlink Packet Access.
☀ EDGE - Enhanced Data Rate for
☀ GSM- [Global System for Mobile Communication]
Evolution.
☀ VHF - Very High Frequency.
☀ UHF - Ultra High Frequency.
☀ GPRS - General
Packet Radio Service.
☀ WAP - Wireless Application Protocol.
☀ TCP - Transmission Control Protocol.
☀ ARPANET - Advanced Research Project
Agency Network.
☀ IBM - International Business Machines.
☀ HP - Hewlett Packard.
☀ AM/FM - Amplitude/ Frequency Modulation: